Challenges
I am and will be facing many challenges in the coming months. Challenges I never imagined I would have to face. Probably having to find a new home, moving all my stuff out of here and probably back into storage somewhere, adjusting to a new life.
Right now my biggest challenge is loneliness. It’s amazing how lonely it can be in a world so full of people. After so many years of having someone nearly constantly around, I’m mostly doing things by myself.
The Flock and Fiber Festival today is an example. It will be fun to see friends and acquaintances again and pet the animals and wander through the vendor area, but in the end, it’s going to be a lonely day. No one to share the experience with, no one to go to dinner with afterwards, no one to talk to about the day on the way home. Just me and my thoughts.
Of course, just like the blues and depression I faced in the past months, this too will pass. I know things will get better, it’s just not easy right now.
Ok, enough… Off to feed the animals and get myself cleaned up and head down to Canby. I’ll post a trip report later in the day.
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Charlotte wrote:
You might meet someone there to share the day with! Think positive. There’s no reason you can’t invite someone to have dinner with you. Stop talking so negatively to yourself!
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 11:17 am | Permalink
Emma wrote:
Hope you have a great day.
You can always chat with us ! We’re real people,you know. If you were on the same continent I’d invite you over for nice glass of merlot/beer/ale or two !
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 2:07 pm | Permalink
Judi wrote:
I think you and I must have different definitions of lonely. I only consider myself lonely when I can’t be in touch with my “self”. It isn’t usually a matter of having other people around. As a matter of fact I have often been most lonely when I was surrounded by and doing things with, other people.
I did have a wonderful friendship once where I felt somewhat more “complete” if you will than I did by myself, and when it ended I felt raw and “unfinished”. Perhaps that is what you are feeling now. Perhaps we just use different words for the same feelings.
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 4:59 pm | Permalink
Nancy wrote:
Sorry to hear about what has happened. I figured the guy would either be out of the picture by now. I have been in the hospital and to me it speaks volumes who is by your side. I have a feeling this guys wife threw him out. I wish I could have dinner and share the experience with you, but I am still recovering and live way to far away. Change is never easy even when we want it.
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 5:45 pm | Permalink
Judy wrote:
I looked for you at OFFF. I couldn’t get down there until about 1:30 and could only stay until about 4:30. I suspect you may have left by then, if you went down early.
About loneliness — I usually find that I’m most lonely when I have something that I need to deal with that I’m ignoring. The only cure that I’ve found is to get busy and do something - anything, but doing something nice for someone works the best. And dealing with the ignored things is a good idea, too.
And you can share — you share on here and many people listen. I may not always comment, but I listen.
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 7:01 pm | Permalink
Jerry wrote:
First.. Most of you I’ve never met, but some of you have helped me through some trying times in the past couple months, whether you’ve realized it or not. It’s been good for me to talk (write) and it’s been good to get feedback from folks a bit more experience.
Second… Words.. Sometimes my choice of words gets me in trouble. Always has. Raw and unfinished is a good description of what I’m feeling. I feel that something is missing. There’s a big hole in my life and in my soul.
But, I know that this will pass, just as the depression passed. I’ve just got to give it time.
Posted on 23-Sep-06 at 7:13 pm | Permalink
Barbar wrote:
Yes, Jerry it does pass. My husband left four years ago. We had been married 32 years. In an earlier post you said you had thought you and Eileen would grow old together. That really resonated with me. That’s what I thought too. Not having someone to share life with on a daily basis is lonely. I have friends and family, but is isn’t the same. I have adjusted and I’m not looking for another relationship, I think maybe he was it for me. I wish you well and in time you too will be ok with living alone. Perhaps someone will come into your life and bring you love and happiness. Trust in yourself, you will be ok whatever the future holds for you.
Posted on 25-Sep-06 at 7:37 am | Permalink
Marie wrote:
Facing the future alone is something I never thought I’d have to do–but now I’m doing it. It’s harder after a year than it was at first, but I’m operating on the premise that the more I resist getting out around others, the more I am NEEDING to do it. Being alone is getting to be more okay–some of the time. Just have a lot of major decisions to make, and I keep putting them off. So hang in there–if I can do it (at my age) you can too!
Posted on 01-Oct-06 at 6:57 pm | Permalink
Jerry wrote:
Though I’m starting to understand that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely, it’s still hard to go through the days without someone by your side. It get’s better day by day, but darn it’s slow…
Posted on 01-Oct-06 at 9:25 pm | Permalink