Relationships
My relationship with Eileen has had it’s ups and downs in the last 25 years. We’ve gone from lovers, to separated, to finally good friends and housemates.
The last 10 years have been good. Though I realized there was no longer any love for me on her side, I’ve managed to convince myself that since we get along so well, we’d just grow old together.
That is until the middle of June. She met a gentleman whom she sees as nearly her soulmate. We’ve had a long talks about us, her, and her new friend. Everything is pretty much out in the open between us, but not common knowledge to our family and friends. Eileen has been completely honest about her feelings and her need for romance and feeling she’s wanted. Sometimes friends just aren’t enough.
Still, it’s a pretty emotional time for me right now. I’ve discovered that I’ve got a slightly broken heart. Obviously my feelings for Eileen go a bit beyond just being friends, but at the same time I’ve stayed in this relationship with the knowledge the it *could* end at anytime.
I’m losing my best friend and companion. After years of being so close that a lot of folks thought we were married, I now deal with days of not even seeing or talking to her. And the blues come and go depending on the situation.
Neither of us know how this will finally play out. Her friend is in a bad marriage, but afraid of the problems that he’ll have to face if he decides to start divorce proceedings. I’m afraid Eileen’s going be hurt if she continues with a married man. Meanwhile I smile and pretend everything is fine, but also realize that whatever happens, we will probably never be able to go back to where we were a couple of months ago.
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Kimberly wrote:
I can feel the confusion and hurt in your words. I hope everything pans out for the better.
=:8
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 5:03 am | Permalink
Molly Bee wrote:
I’m so sorry that you have such a heavy burden. Just know that we are all thinking of you and are here for you…
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 7:00 am | Permalink
Judy wrote:
Jerry, I’m so sorry. I will continue to keep you and Eileen in my prayers. I know this may be of little comfort, but I truly believe that when we look back on our lives, things work out the way they are supposed to and for the greater good in the long run. Hard it is, though, to trust in the universal good when there seems to be little of it close at hand.
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 11:00 am | Permalink
Emma wrote:
That’s so hard. I’m sorry to read of your sadness and loneliness. Take care of yourself.
x
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
Laurie wrote:
I’m so sorry. I have also been in that position in a relationship. Know that there are folks thinking of you and wanting things to be better for you. And take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to begin healing.
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 3:30 pm | Permalink
Judi wrote:
I know it doesn’t help much to know that others have been through the same experience - it does absolutely nothing to relieve the pain, sorrow and emptiness. But having said that, it IS an experience that can be endured and survived. I do wish the best for you as you make your way through the next days and months. You seem to have many people who care a great deal about you.
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 7:15 pm | Permalink
KarenK from the OR C wrote:
I wish you both peace and fulfillment,and the comfort that you seek. Thinking of you and hoping for the best that time can bring.
Posted on 18-Aug-06 at 9:22 pm | Permalink
Debi P wrote:
Jerry, I feel your sadness. Nothing that anyone can say or do will make the hurt stop. It is something that must cycle through stages. Relationships evolve sometimes in manners that we had not anticipated. I been there too. Stay strong, stick with daily routines for now to keep yourself busy. Keep the lines of communications open. Your future may be different than what you had planned, but you will survive this. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. Debi
Posted on 19-Aug-06 at 4:21 am | Permalink
Lark wrote:
Jerry: What you focus on grows… so focus on what you know in your heart is best for you and Ellen. No matter where the path goes, the universe will provide what you focused on! It’s all good. You’re in our prayers.
Posted on 19-Aug-06 at 8:19 pm | Permalink
Robin wrote:
You have shared so much of yourself with us. I send my thoughts of strength and warmth to you.
Posted on 20-Aug-06 at 8:02 pm | Permalink
linda wrote:
All my best to you, Jerry, and may you heal and go on to brighter days.
Posted on 21-Aug-06 at 8:06 am | Permalink
Sandie wrote:
It will get better. Maybe not right away, but it WILL get better. I promise.
Posted on 26-Aug-06 at 6:45 am | Permalink